About me - the reason for my website about spirituality

I was brought up as a middle-of-the-road Church of England Christian. That means I was not a Roman Catholic, not an evangelical, nor a fundamentalist, but just a sincere person who believed that Jesus was God as part of the Holy Trinity and that it was important, if not essential, to have faith in Jesus, who would be my pathway to heaven and eternal life because through following him I would have an intercessor (person who speaks up for another) between me and God and if I had been true and faithful in this life, I would go to heaven. And there would be no second chance for those who failed.

It did worry me that (a) some of my friends and family who did not believe might not get to heaven, and I never was happy with the idea that they would go to hell just becaue they didn't believe - that didn't sound like a God of love, and (b) that I might not be counted good enough because of failure through sin and temptation, and so go to hell anyway. And there was no way out of hell, since, once there, you would be condemned for ever and ever and ever. I must say that not all Christians 'in the pews' would be so black and white in their views, but, if you take the usual teachings to their logical conclusions, this is pretty much it. This is what the churches actually teach, or at least imply, whether they be Roman Catholic on the one hand or Evangelical Fundamentalists on the other, though they think they are poles apart, they are not in the basic teaching.

I married and had two children. Sometimes I used to say to myself that if I was unlucky enough to lose one of my children at some stage I would not blame God because being a Christian doesn't mean bad things won't happen to you. I would try to accept that life is a bit of a lottery and people die.

And then my son did die, in an accident, aged 22.

Now to flash back a few years...

It was just before Christmas, and I was driving to visit my Mum, who was in a care home, to take her her presents. I got nearly 100 miles down the motorway when I realised I had forgotten to take the presents!! I was so annoyed at my stupidity and I realised the impracticality of going back home to get the presents and driving back down all the way again. It was hopeless - I had messed up big time and there was no way out. I was actually so cross with myself that I started driving erractically at 80 mph and felt like crashing the car and suffering the consequences because I was a stupid, stupid idiot who deserved to be punished. However, I pulled myself together and drove on. My mother, whose mental faculties were failing, would probably not know which day was actually Christmas day and I could bring them down next visit, after Christmas, and she would be just as happy and probably none the wiser.

The next day, at my Anglican church, someone who also attended a Spiritualist Church (whatever that was? - I wasn't sure) asked me if I was alright, as they had been at their other church at the time that I was on the motorway and a message had come through saying that I needed their prayers. Well, I was gob-smacked!! I knew there had to be something in this 'other' church!

So, when my son died, I was ready to accept what these Spiritualists had to offer. And that was the start of my journey, together with my close family, some of my extended family and an increasing number of friends, including my son's friends.

We also visted one or two other mediums recommended by friends or friends of friends. I want to stress that these mediums only asked for small token fees of £20-£25 for an hour, or however long the session lasted - which was often more like 2 hours! Without going into personal details, the mediums, who initially knew nothing about us, brought our son through unmistakably and we could not deny the evidence of life after death, and also the fact that it was not quite as I had been brought up to believe. We started reading books and researching on the Internet, and some of the many websites we found are mentioned on this site on the links page.

My Christian faith started to broaden out and be less dogmatic. In its strict interpretation it no longer made sense. Our own personal experience of our son's communication to us through our friends and other mediums contradicted some of the traditional church's teaching - and if it contradicted some of it, which bits could we still believe? I had to decide what to hang on to and what to leave behind. For me, this was a gradual process over about 3 years. I believe I was led, very carefully, as to what to read and in what order. Gradually I realised, like Shakespeare, that "there is more in heaven and earth than is dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio". Little by little I began to understand what was wrong, but also what was still right about Christianity. As I say, it has been gradual process, and I have been careful to avoid jumping on idealogical bandwagons - at least not for more than a few days! I have found this subject so all-consuming and exciting that it has indeed been hard not to get carried away from time to time. After all, not only is it about all my departed loved ones, and my son in particular, but it is about me - and you - and our own destiny and purpose.

My family and I are extremely lucky and grateful that we have received, and continue to receive, so many messages. This is partly because my son and some other loved ones in spirit, such as my father, are very good and willing communicators, and because we have been blessed by having friends who have pointed us in the right direction. But ultimately this is because we have chosen to follow this path. Others may not chose to do so, for various reasons. It may be simply that they are content with what they believe and feel no need to change. And of course, that is fine. When my parents died, that was how I was. Their bodies had reached the end of their lives and their natural time to depart had come. My Christian religion gave me the comfort that I needed. I believed that they had gone to heaven - because they were Christians - and that I would see them again when my time was up.

But when my son died, things were very different and much more difficult. For a start, he wasn't really a Christian in the normal sense of the word. He didn't come with us to church any more except at Christmas etc. But then I guess most young people don't go to church with their parents after the age of about 11. So was he going to hell??? It was only then that all this seeking started. For me, I guess it was because I always carry ideas to their logical conclusion that I tend to see things in black and white. My wife is very different. Her beliefs were never that rigid and so she didn't have to unravel so much injested dogma! We know other families who have suffered unexpected loss, but who have not followed our path. It may be that they are too wrapped up in their fixed religious beliefs, or that they are afraid to step out into the unknown, or, on the other hand, they are too sceptical about the afterlife and anything seemingly religious in the first place. And of course, that is their choice and their right - but we do find it sad that we can't share our understanding with them.

After a while of discovery I called myself a Spiritualist. Now I'm not so sure I fit into that category strictly speaking because through the extensive literature I've read and the experiences that have come my way, I have come to see things even more broadly. Perhaps a 'New Age Spiritualist' would be more accurate, despite it's somewhat cheesy connotations! But anyway I don't call Spiritualism a 'religion' as such. It's more about proving the existence of life after death by bringing across communications from departed loved ones. There are actually quite a lot of different ideas about God and the afterlife within Spiritualism as well. I would definitely say I am not a religious person anymore, but I am more of a sincerely spiritual person than ever before.

I feel so thankful to be free of the limiting caveats of traditional Christianity. Although not everybody who calls themselves a Christian actually believes this, the church is still continually telling people, even if only by implication, that those who do not believe will not have eternal life:
"Anyone who eats my flesh and drinks my blood will have eternal life". In other words, those who don't will not have eternal life. (That's actually a lot of people who go to church, but don't receive Holy Communion!)
"Anyone who believes in me will never die". In other words, those who don't will not have eternal life.
"All who have died in the love of Christ will share in his resurrection." In other words...
"Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of those he loves". So there are some people he doesn't love...?
Even one of the Bible's most treasured passages: "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life". In other words...

Please note, of course I am not saying that it is wrong to follow the general teachings of Jesus, or what the church teaches about loving one's neighbour and serving one another, because that is good. But as for saying those outside the church will perish and not have eternal life - thank God I don't believe in this wicked doctrine any more!!

You can also visit my blog at Guy's_Sirit_Blog

Guy